written by Relationship Coaches |  

Fear of rejection keeps nice guys from approaching the girl they are interested in. I’ll never forget my fear of approaching Mickey Mouse at Disney World as a shy, young teenager to request an autograph. When I chickened out, my father said, “The meek shall inherit the earth, but they won’t get Mickey’s autograph.”

I’m not a nice guy, but I think I’m still a nice girl after all these years. And my father’s words are a lesson now as they were then. “ Nice guys ,” whether they are men or women, will not get what they want in dating unless they are willing to take risks. What must you do as a nice guy to get the girl you want? Here are a few ideas:

Deal with the fear of rejection head on. What is the worst thing that can happen if she says “no”? You know that the worst will probably not happen. Rejection is hard to bear, but if you turn it on its head, you can see it as a good thing. When a girl is not interested, she has done you a favor. Now you can move on to someone else instead of wasting your time on someone who is not interested.

Realize that rejection is often not about you. She may reject you because of something that is going on with her or she may be interested in someone else. It does not mean you are flawed. Grant it, it is always a good idea to see how you can improve your approach, but keep in mind that maybe you had nothing to do with the reason she rejected you.

Understand that rejection is a way to learn something new. Now, it could be true that you did something that increased your chances of her rejecting you. Examine the situation, ask others what they think about it, and learn what you can. But it is extremely important that you let it go after you have looked and learned. Otherwise, you can get stuck in feeling awful because you got rejected.

As you can see, there are different ways to look at rejection that w...