My goal for the New Year is to find the love of my life. I’m familiar with getting clear on my vision and my requirements, needs and wants. Beyond that, what types of things should I be doing to get myself ready for great things to happen in my love life?

Catherine from Carlsbad

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Katherin responds …

Finding love is a great goal! Now is a good time to re-assess your requirements, your strategies and your relationship patterns. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Review your list of non-negotiable requirements. Have four to five clearly defined requirements you can scout for rather than a large list you cannot remember.

• Become aware of unhealthy dating/relationship patterns which may limit your ability to find love and replace them with new behaviors. Hire a coach/therapist if needed.

• How have you been looking for love in the past? Continue to do what brought you success (i.e. frequenting a great venue to meet potential partners) and stop what didn’t work (dating people from your work for example). Find new venues for meeting great matches.

• Create or update your online dating profile. Post your new profile on additional online dating sites.

• Focus on what you can do physically, emotionally or spiritually to improve yourself. You may want to lose a few pounds or get in better shape. Take a relationship skills class or read a book about becoming more positive — these may bring you new results.

• Enlist a support community to help you find love. Let your friends and family know what qualities you’re looking for in a mate and encourage them to introduce you to potential partners.

Bottom line, if you’re on your quest to find love, stay focused on your requirements, visit great singles venues, have a support system, stay positive and you will achieve your goal!

Katherin Scott | www.KatherinScott.com | 425.681.2620

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Randy responds …

You are on the right track in being clear about your vision, requirements, needs and wants. In addition, it is important to understand the subconscious forces at work in relationships. Everyone knows about the force of attraction, or think they do, and it is an important, and often misunderstood, force. But it is not the only force at play. Another important force is what I call the “power differential.” This results from the imbalance in attraction, with the person feeling less attraction having more power.

The adverse effects of the power diff...

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