written by Sue Susskind |  

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching, and what better way to celebrate than to do something special for Mom . Mother’s Day also presents the opportunity to observe how mom is really doing. Parents tend to be independent people and don’t readily share with their children when they are having difficulty performing everyday tasks. They fear being placed in a nursing home or losing their independence, so they hide these issues. They may deny they need help, even though it may be painfully obvious to others. They observe their friends and neighbors being placed in facilities and watch their personal belongings being given away, and they are fearful that the same thing will happen to them.

If you are geographically separated from your mother, you may only see her a couple of times a year. Between those visits, her situation may change significantly. You may not know that she now needs assistance with household chores, managing finances or bathing, until her situation has become serious.

This year, while celebrating with Mom , observe her and look for indicators that let you know things have changed, and that she may require assistance with activities of daily living. If any of these indicators are present, it does not mean that she can no longer live at home . It simply means that her situation needs to be assessed and that services may need to be put in place to allow her to live in her home safely.

• Unexplained weight loss

• Wearing dirty clothes, has dirty hair or personal odor, or needs to be reminded to bathe

• Look for burned pans (indicates food is being left on the stove)

• Unpaid bills or utilities being shut off

• Isolation, decreased interest in activities

• Medication errors

• Incontinence

If any of these things sound familiar, and as difficult as it may be, it becomes necessary to address your concerns with Mom so you can work together to find a solution. It is essential to involve Mom in the planni...