written by Michelle E. Vasquez, NS, LPC |  

Unless you’ve been living as a hermit for the last 20 years, you’re most ly familiar with affirmations and positive thinking. If we were all doing this consistently, I wouldn’t need to talk about this subject. Unfortunately, too many people are plagued with negative mind chatter .

This is especially true for singles when it comes to dating. Some singles have it all together and date easily. I’m not addressing them. If you’re a single who experiences doubts about your ability to attract and keep the love of your life, I’m talking to you.

What are some persistent negative thoughts that you may experience? Here are a few that may be familiar to you:

• I’m too shy to attract anyone
• If I go out on a date with this person, it will end badly. So why bother?
• I’m not worthy to find the love of my life
• I’m not good enough

Why do singles think this? Some reasons are fear of rejection , fear of abandonment, a problem with self-image, and insecurity, to name just a few. Unfortunately, if you keep allowing this negative mind chatter to rule you, you will live your life in fear. You’ll spend your life regretting what might have been.

Even shy people get dates and find the love of their lives. Why not you? If you wait until you are “perfect,” you will never start. I challenge you to begin arguing with these destructive thoughts that roam around in your brain. Yes, talk back. When you hear a negative thought, here are some statements that you can say in response:

• I’m able to attract the love of my life easily
• I enjoy myself when I go out on a date and I let go of expectations about the outcome
• Of course I’m worthy of finding the love of my life
• I’m not only good enough, I am a great catch

Try out these affirmations and create your own. Don’t worry if they seem silly or untrue. The key to changi...