The Big C

written by Neal Dranoff |

The Big C

Few instances in life are more jolting than being told you have cancer. A few years ago I had a distressing urinary problem that initiated my first-ever visit to a urologist. The diagnosis was a bleeding cyst on my bladder, which I learned was a symptom of possible bladder cancer. Thank goodness, it was benign. Other than the untimely death of my father at a very young age (he was only 40) from a heart attack, nothing else in life besides that episode had taught me to appreciate life and treat each day as a gift.

Then, in March 2008, our family was hit by another fastball—my mother was diagnosed with Stage IIB lung cancer. She had just celebrated her 78th birthday and other than a slight hearing problem in one ear, was (so we thought) in remarkable health. She looked at least ten years younger and lived a full, active life filled with a loyal circle of friends, a zest for travel (including a recent trek to Africa!), while still working at a local law office two days/week. I’m ecstatic to report she is a survivor and her future prognosis couldn’t be brighter! My mother’s “adventure” struck my family to the core, but from the beginning, we provided a cohesive inner support team that functioned as one. We learned a lot, first and foremost how my mother re-defined the word “bravery,” but most importantly for you, some basic steps that should be undertaken if such a calamity strikes a member of your family or a friend.

The first piece of information details why I’m writing about this subject matter in The 50 Plus Male… cancer is predominantly a disease of older people. It’s estimated that about 60% of all new cancer cases occurs in the 65+ age category for both men and women. My mother was a smoker until she turned 40, and never showed any symptoms of lung cancer, but aging presents increased health risks and ‘lo and behold,’ her previous smoking habit determined it was pay-up time.

Second is the crucial need for a strong support team for the patient. Don’t treat the word “cancer” or the actual condition as an anathema; it may sound harsh, but support team members need to just get over it and deal with it. It’s time to rally the troops, not spend precious time in a stupor. My wife and I, along with my brother and sister-in-law immediately came to my mother’s side to help her deal with the initial emotional trauma upon hearing the news from the doctor. Trust me, this is not a time for a loved one to be alone.

Next piece of advice—the support team needs to become ardent students of the particular form of cancer. My brother and I literally lived on the internet for the first couple of days, gathering numerous articles on both lung cancer and the best doctors/hospitals to consult. You shouldn’t ever, in my opinion, stop your learning cycle after just a couple of days, but we wanted to accumulate enough info as fast as possible to begin planning with our mother for how ...

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